Madame Guillotine

Merry Christmas to all my lovely readers! Hope you all have an excellent holidays and get lots of presents but not too drunk.

Isn’t the picture lovely? I found this postcard in a shop on Gloucester Road in Bristol months and months ago and have had it on my desk ever since waiting for Christmas Eve!

Yes, it’s that time of the year again when I start to roll out my alternative Christmas gift guides for your delectation. As would appear to be traditional, I’m going to start with a selection of goodies that are guaranteed to evoke a gloomy Victoriana vibe on Christmas morning. What could be better?

First of all we have these gorgeous faux fur Russian princess hats and muffs, custom made by Moretta Designs for just £35 each. How gorgeous and also eminently perfect for snuggling into at this time of year!

What could be more perfect for lugging books about in than this Lizzie Borden tote bag from Michele Buttons?

An excellent gift for any steampunk or hipster men in your life – gin and tonic scented moustache wax from Man’s Face Stuff!

I love this Whitechapel Lovelies hair bow, decorated with pictures of Dorset Street’s finest. It’s just £8.32 from Fluffer Girl.

Who doesn’t love gin?! Proclaim your loyalty with this rather elegant necklace from Fauna y Flora Shop.

Fancy contacting the dead at dinner? This ouija board plate by the ever fabulous Burke & Hare is right up your alley.

Break the ice at parties with this fanciful Jack the Ripper necklace from Wiccan Style.

If GIN isn’t your thing, then maybe this gorgeous looking absinthe whipped sugar scrub is a bit more appealing. It’s £14.69 from Peculiar Potions, who seem to have loads of lovely looking things in their Etsy store.

I want pretty much everything from the Abberant Affixments store but particularly love these antiquated ladies’ stickers. They’d look fab on any dressing table.

As I MAY have mentioned in the past, I’m a HUGE fan of Madame Talbot‘s fantastic prints and have quite a collection here at Guillotine Towers! I think my absolute favourite has got to be the Jack the Ripper one here though, which was my first purchase. I love it so much in fact that I’m considering using some elements of it for my very first tattoo. Cor.

I really love this Juniper Sling perfume from Penhaligons. It’s a bit pricey at £110 a bottle but is so gorgeous.

As you probably all know, I’m a massive Oscar Wilde fan and just couldn’t resist featuring this lovely pendant from The Mymble’s Daughter.

I adore this Butter London nail polish in ‘Victoriana’, which they describe on their site as ‘a textured twinkling vintage pale blue nail lacquer. Things reminiscent of the Victorian era, such as corsets, top hats and Syphilis‘. It’s incredibly pretty.

Another Victorian hero of mine, albeit a fictional one, is Sherlock Holmes. Isn’t it wonderful that so many people think that he was a real person? I think that’s ace. This pipe necklace from Finest Imaginary was inspired by him and costs just £11.

This Russian cross necklace from House of D would be perfect with any dark Victoriana ensemble and it’s a bargainous £14.99 as well.

I absolutely adore Villainess’ scents and soaps, which have just the sort of earthy richness that I most love and who can resist a scent called Criminy? According to their website it’s ‘wicked as they come. Wild vines and open spaces, green things, deep red wine and the sweet bite of brambleberries.‘ They also do Arsenic & Silk, which smells of almonds (of course!) and their signature scent Villainess, which smells of ‘ball gowns and combat boots’. Perfect.

Bittersweet by Tokyo Milk is one of the nicest smells on the whole planet. I’ve just run out and am in mourning until I manage to acquire another bottle so that I can go about the place smelling of ‘cake Flour, Dark Cacao Bean, Osmanthus (and) Bronzed Musk‘. SO nice. If ‘gourmand’ scents are your thing then you have to try this one!

If the Penhaligons’ scent is much too pricey for you then never fear, there’s also this rather delicious sounding solid Gin and Juice scent from Piixl Wix Candle Company. This is another store that makes me want to buy EVERYTHING, especially as they have a sale on right now!

I’ll admit that I’m not a zombie fan AT ALL and in fact my Zombie Invasion Plan is simply ‘Shoot me right at the start because I’m already bored to the back teeth of bloody zombies’. However, I do really love these Zombie Hunter earrings from Msemrick.

I have one of these prints by Two Pipe Problem in my kitchen and absolutely LOVE it.

I’ve had one of these brothel token necklaces on my wishlist FOREVER and still don’t have one. I particularly like the look of these ones from The Hand of Fatima.

I’m a big fan of Bolongaro Trevor’s designs, especially as my STYLE ICON Helena Bonham Carter buys clothes there. I’m not buying any clothes for myself until I’ve reached my Slimming World target but when I do, I’m planning a bit of a spree at their Spitalfields store where I hope to pick up a gothic dress or maybe a Victorian styled T shirt like this one.

Did anything catch your eye? I’m planning another gift guide with a more eighteenth century flavour for next week…

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas – I didn’t really as I managed to be horribly ill for the second year in a row which meant lying on the sofa weeping and feeling very VERY sorry for myself. The boys had a lovely time though with the six year old spending the whole day building a Lego Hogwarts Castle (photos to come) and the three year old generally running about and being excitable.

I did manage to watch the Downton Abbey Christmas episode though and rather enjoyed it. What did you think? I know some of you haven’t seen it yet so will keep the spoilers to a minimum (if you really can’t bear the suspense then ask questions in the comments!).

Anyway, key things about Downton at Christmas:

1. They had a lovely twinkly lit up tree, which provoked a slurry of ‘Did they have Christmas tree lights during the second Georgian period?’

2. There was indeed, as Dan Stevens informed me on Twitter when I asked for just one spoiler clue, Christmas pudding.

3. There was snow. Lots and lots and lots of snow.

4. There were cads. Okay maybe just one but maybe three depending on your definition of ‘cads’. The one I am thinking of was very caddish indeed. And also a bounder.

5. There were tearful prison scenes. I’m a bit fed up with Mr Bates and his expression of saintly woe now so rolled my eyes a lot during these.

6. There was a BIG confession. Or two.

7. Someone did something narsty involving a wood shed.

8. Lady Mary got a new dress! In fact, she got a few! In fact all the Downton ladies were fetching very fetching gauzy and beaded shorter dresses.

9. There was awkward dancing. I think Thomas and The Dowager should run away together (I know, I know) as she had a definite twinkle in her eye as he whisked her off into the waltz.

10. There was sad standing around and praying in a rainswept cemetery.

11. There was a ouija board! Lawks!

12. There was a brief and rather embarrassing bout of fisticuffs that was vaguely reminiscent of that scene in Bridget Jones’ Diary. It was all floppy hair, inept headlocks and girly kicking over of vases.

13. There was happy news for one sister! And er rather less happy news for another.

14. O’Brien and Edith continue to be my favourite characters.

15. There was dignified tremblings of parvenu upper lips as they left Downton for the last time ever. ‘Do you promise?’ – the Dowager still gets all the best lines.

16. It all ended on a very good note indeed, which I am not going to spoil but led to timeline full of ‘AT LONG BLOODY LAST’ on Twitter.

17. There were also some notable absences, so let’s have a moment of silence please for Branston Pickle the political chauffeur, Lady Sibyl and the maid (Edith?) that got knocked up with gigantababy (my youngest was 10lb 5oz at birth so I know whereof I speak). Lavvy-Poo, Cousin Matthew’s ill fated fiancée, on the other hand, managed to make an appearance…

So what did you think of it all?

They had the trailer for the new series of Whitechapel in the advert breaks and it looks like they are starting with a modern re-enactment of the Radcliffe Highway murders, which I totally guessed they would do! Can’t wait to see it.

Did anyone see the Christmas Doctor Who? I watched it under duress and quite liked it but I’m troubled by the fate of the missing airmen…

The night closed in early – the ghostly shadows that haunt the trenches came to keep us company as we stood to arms. Under a pale moon, one could just see the grave-like rise of ground which marked the German trenches two hundred yards away. Fires in the English lines had died down, and only the squelch of the sodden boots in the slushy mud, the whispered orders of the officers and the NCOs, and the moan of the wind broke the silence of the night. The soldiers’ Christmas Eve had come at last, and it was hardly the time or place to feel grateful for it.

Memory in her shrine kept us in a trance of saddened silence. Back somewhere in England, the fires were burning in cosy rooms; in fancy I heard laughter and the thousand melodies of reunion on Christmas Eve. With overcoat thick with wet mud, hands cracked and sore with the frost, I leaned against the side of the trench, and, looking through my loophole, fixed weary eyes on the German trenches. Thoughts surged madly in my mind; but they had no sequence, no cohesion. Mostly they were of home as I had known it through the years that had brought me to this. I asked myself why I was in the trenches in misery at all, when I might have been in England warm and prosperous. That involuntary question was quickly answered. For is there not a multitude of houses in England, and has not someone to keep them intact? I thought of a shattered cottage in — , and felt glad that I was in the trenches. That cottage was once somebody’s home.

Still looking and dreaming, my eyes caught a flare in the darkness. A light in the enemy’s trenches was so rare at that hour that I passed a message down the line. I had hardly spoken when light after light sprang up along the German front. Then quite near our dug-outs, so near as to make me start and clutch my rifle, I heard a voice. there was no mistaking that voice with its guttural ring. With ears strained, I listened, and then, all down our line of trenches there came to our ears a greeting unique in war: “English soldier, English soldier, a merry Christmas, a merry Christmas!”

Following that salute boomed the invitation from those harsh voices: “Come out, English soldier; come out here to us.” For some little time we were cautious, and did not even answer. Officers, fearing treachery, ordered the men to be silent. But up and down our line one heard the men answering that Christmas greeting from the enemy. How could we resist wishing each other a Merry Christmas, even though we might be at each other’s throats immediately afterwards? So we kept up a running conversation with the Germans, all the while our hands ready on our rifles. Blood and peace, enmity and fraternity – war’s most amazing paradox. The night wore on to dawn – a night made easier by songs from the German trenches, the pipings of piccolos and from our broad lines laughter and Christmas carols. Not a shot was fired, except for down on our right, where the French artillery were at work.

Came the dawn, pencilling the sky with grey and pink. Under the early light we saw our foes moving recklessly about on top of their trenches. Here, indeed, was courage; no seeking the security of the shelter but a brazen invitation to us to shoot and kill with deadly certainty. But did we shoot? Not likely! We stood up ourselves and called benisons on the Germans. Then came the invitation to fall out of the trenches and meet half way.

Still cautious we hung back. Not so the others. They ran forward in little groups, with hands held up above their heads, asking us to do the same. Not for long could such an appeal be resisted – beside, was not the courage up to now all on one side? Jumping up onto the parapet, a few of us advanced to meet the on-coming Germans. Out went the hands and tightened in the grip of friendship. Christmas had made the bitterest foes friends.

Here was no desire to kill, but just the wish of a few simple soldiers (and no one is quite so simple as a soldier) that on Christmas Day, at any rate, the force of fire should cease. We gave each other cigarettes and exchanged all manner of things. We wrote our names and addresses on the field service postcards, and exchanged them for German ones. We cut the buttons off our coats and took in exchange the Imperial Arms of Germany. But the gift of gifts was Christmas pudding. The sight of it made the Germans’ eyes grow wide with hungry wonder, and at the first bite of it they were our friends for ever. Given a sufficient quantity of Christmas puddings, every German in the trenches before ours would have surrendered.

And so we stayed together for a while and talked, even though all the time there was a strained feeling of suspicion which rather spoilt this Christmas armistice. We could not help remembering that we were enemies, even though we had shaken hands. We dare not advance too near their trenches lest we saw too much, nor could the Germans come beyond the barbed wire which lay before ours. After we had chatted, we turned back to our respective trenches for breakfast.

All through the day no shot was fired, and all we did was talk to each other and make confessions which, perhaps, were truer at that curious moment than in the normal times of war. How far this unofficial truce extended along the lines I do not know, but I do know that what I have written here applies to the — on our side and the 158th German Brigade, composed of Westphalians.

As I finish this short and scrappy description of a strangely human event, we are pouring rapid fire into the German trenches, and they are returning the compliment just as fiercely. Screeching through the air above us are the shattering shells of rival batteries of artillery. So we are back once more to the ordeal of fire.

– Written by Private Frederick W. Heath, Christmas, 1914.

Transcribed by Marian Robson for the Christmas Truce project (they are looking for volunteers to scour local newspapers from the period to look for first hand accounts of the truce if anyone is interested in doing a bit of research?).

Two letters home to my own beautiful county of Essex from the grim and freezing cold trenches of war torn France on Christmas Day 1914…

‘Christmas Day! The most wonderful day on record.

“Give us Tipperary”, they cried. Whereupon an adjacent Irish regiment let loose a tremendous “whoop,” and complied with the request in a way as only Irishmen can.’ — Sergeant A Lovell, A Company, 3rd Rifle Brigade.

“We had a very decent Christmas Day in the trenches. We had Christmas puddings sent up to us and a few of the boys and myself managed to hot them up, and with some sausage and potatoes and brussels sprouts, which we succeeded in foraging from a farm, we had a very good dinner.

On Christmas Day we were out of the trenches along with the Germans, some of whom had a song and dance, while two of our platoons had a game of football. It was surprising to see the German soldiers – some appeared old, others were boys, and others wore glasses. But they ‘played the game’ for that they, and some of them even went as far as to state they would not shoot so long as our regiment was on that particular set of trenches. A number of our fellows have got addresses from the Germans and are going to try and meet one another after the war.” — Private Farnden, Rifle Brigade.

If this doesn’t make your heart melt then you are made of GRANITE. Both letters taken from the wonderful Christmas Truce site, where you can find many more letters from servicemen all over the country who took part in this moving occasion.

Merry Christmas to all my readers!