Bad Writing Day

I had a bad day yesterday, which is why I didn’t post here or anywhere else really other than to be glum about Prime Suspect and complain about the weather. I don’t like having bad days so let’s work through this together. Don’t worry, it won’t end badly.

When I first started this blog almost three years ago, I decided that I was going to use it to talk about the research for my books and also chat a bit about the writing process. At some point I also seem to have made the decision that I was only going to tell you all about the good bits and none of the bad. This was wrong.

You see, over time, increasing amounts of people have become interested in self publishing their work and I think it is up to those of us who have already done so and with some modest success to give advice, help, encouragement and also an honest view of how such an interprise will most likely turn out. I have a duty, I suppose, therefore to disclose everything good AND bad that arises as a result of this whole writing shebang.

I hate sharing all the glum bits not just because I know there’s a whole bunch of people who LOVE it when things go wrong for me (I’m not being pious, I bloody LOVE it when things go wrong for them too) but also because it’s not in my nature to dwell on the unpleasant and annoying. However, I also feel a bit ridiculous only ever shouting about the good things because that’s a bit show offy, right?

Well, sort of. Actually, as well as it being really handy for prospective self publishers to know all the pitfalls of the potentially huge emotional investment that they are about to make, it’s also good for them to have a bit of hope that the miserable ‘You’ll only ever sell five copies and all of those will be bought BY YOUR MUM’ brigade are full of nonsense and probably have their own parlous agenda for keeping them in their place. I shouldn’t feel bad, then, for wanting to shout about excellent sales and really lovely reviews and so on because it’s all going into the collective pot of Good Feelings about self publishing and that’s just dandy.

Anyway, suffice to say that I had a Bad Writing Day yesterday and almost jacked the whole thing in for good because I had some rather negative feedback about my work and even though I immediately acted upon it, deleted loads of text, added loads of extra bits and generally tore my current piece of work apart, I still felt really upset and confused by the whole thing. Don’t worry – it’s pretty typical for authors to react with disproportionate amounts of angst to criticism so I don’t feel too ridiculous admitting to this and ultimately I have ended up with a FAR stronger work in progress and a better idea of how to take it forward too, so that’s okay.

It was rough though for a while.

However, I’m fortunate enough to have a cheerleading husband who hugged me a lot and calmed me down by reminding me that a. I sell a thousand books a month b. I get great reviews c. I have actual fans who want me to write more things and d. this blog is very nearly at a million hits so I’m not a rubbish writer at all, but someone who writes things that people apparently want to read about. Which altogether had the effect of making me feel rather worse and as if I’d somehow slighted all of the people who have bought and enjoyed my books or hit up my blog for a lunch time read by going off on a ‘I’M A TERRIBLE WRITER’ schlep.

So I won’t do that any more.

Once I’d calmed down, I decided that constructive action was needed so I did three things:

1. I made all the necessary changes to the Work In Progress and then contacted the amazing talented Del des Anges about properly editing it for me once it is finished, whereupon I will be publishing it myself, hopefully with another Lisa Falzon cover, although I need to ask her about that, obvs.

2. I put my first two books, The Secret Diary of a Princess and Blood Sisters on Scrivener and spent a lot of time getting them ready to be updated on Kindle and also released as special edition paperbacks in the next few months.

3. I noted that there have been more calls for a sequel to The Secret Diary of a Princess and made a new Scrivener page for another Young Adult book which has the working title: Marie Antoinette 4 Louis. Now that The Secret Diary is approaching 4,000 sales (in fact, it might have just tipped over), I think I should probably start paying attention to what my readers want! Anyway, the sequel will involve MORE letters from Amalia, MORE practical jokes and MORE Madame du Barry. So there.

All of which made me feel MUCH better.

Other things that made me feel better were:

1. Reading more of Palace Circle by Rebecca Dean, which I have wanted to read ever since it came out but miserably failed to do UNTIL NOW. It is everything that I hoped that it would be but reading it in the depths of my angst also made me feel more confused and also a bit huffy as there are vast swathes of Telling interspersed with Showing that is so subtle that I have no idea what just happened so I moved on to…

2. Watching two series of Prime Suspect, one after the other which was pretty satisfying if a bit gruesome at times. It’s not as good as Whitechapel though (NOTHING is as good as Whitechapel), which I will be blogging about later on as I feel that the current series deserves a little joyful paen all of its very own.

3. Drinking hot chocolate with les petits gars from these divinely cute Jamie Oliver mugs that were sent to me by Palmers. I have the Little Sweetheart mug (for Oscar) and Little Tiger one (for Felix) and adore them as they are just the right size for small people. I’m not a fan of hot drinks but I do like to lie around drinking hot chocolate and pretending that I am in fact Sarah Churchill in a ridiculous fontanges headdress or maybe Madame de Pompadour. NOTHING could be more cheering.

4. Booking Camping Plus for this year’s Camp Bestival so we don’t have to worry about camping on a slope and will have showers and our own carefully reserved plot on a flat to look forward to. We’re not very good at camping.

5. Writing a list of all the amazing things that are coming up on this blog: Kensington Palace, Hampton Court Palace, Althorp, Camp Bestival, Emilie Autumn, another chance to be trolled mercilessly after I review a Stewart Lee gig, a mystery trip abroad, a book launch and also a couple of other very special things that are currently in the pipeline but I should hopefully be able to tell you about soon…

6. Pictures of Tom Hardy in Marie Antoinette.

7. Corgi puppies.

Not bad really for a post that started out as a bit of a complain! I feel like that there should be a moral to all of this really, so let’s just say that it’s okay to be upset about criticism so long as you use it to your own ends. Or something. Also puppies and Tom Hardy are awesome.